Dear girls who wear slutty costumes for Halloween, 

This is your big weekend. Are you excited? Hell yes, you are. Halloween is your annual excuse to let your freak flag fly and wear the sluttiest costume you can loosely associate with a fresh pop culture reference. No hemline is too high, no standard is too low and the only rule is to show more skin than the year before.

Your outfit is some ridiculous visual pun made up of a few square feet of spandex and polyester that stretch the limits of what can be considered a mini-skirt/halter-top combo, proving that you can put the word “sexy” in front of pretty much anything. And you’re making it relevant this year. Why be a sexy nurse or a sexy cop when you’ve got legitimate options like sexy honey badger, sexy Big Bird and sexy binders full of women? (Thanks for the limitless possibilities you’ve contributed to this year’s Halloween, Governor Romney.)

Good for you if you can pull it off. Flaunt it if you got it. Embrace your sexuality on the one night of the year when it’s socially acceptable to celebrate candy and a lack of judgement. It’s your evening to acknowledge that dressing like a total slut is fun, so be absolutely shameless, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Don’t mistake me: dressing like a slut on Halloween is a good thing. Pushing the boundaries of normative behavior is a trick to which we don’t treat ourselves often enough in contemporary American society. The puritanical killjoys will disagree, but they should be ignored.

Halloween is your favorite holiday because the regular rules of decorum don’t apply. You get to pretend you’re being someone else when finally you’re getting to be yourself. Enjoy every minute of it, and when you’re checking yourself out in the mirror, take a quick second to recognize what a shame it is that this holiday only comes around once a year.

Happy Halloween, girls. You all look fabulous. Rock out this weekend, and try not to freeze your butts off.

Yours behind a mask,

The Coquette

(Source: thedaily.com)