Dear Coquette,

Does size really matter? 

Yes

What is the difference between a “slow burn” relationship and a lukewarm one?

Fire.

Do we still live in a postmodern world?

I prefer Bret Easton Ellis’s notion of post-empire.

Would you allow yourself to be described as a socialite?

No, I work for a living. To be called a socialite implies otherwise.

What are your opinions on being friends with benefits with your ex?

You can’t be friends with benefits with an ex. You can have ex sex, but that’s not the same thing. 

I’ve heard that the time it takes to get over a break up is half the time you were together. How long can I wallow before getting it together?

Quit watching “Sex and the City” reruns, go take a long hot shower, and then call up a couple of friends and make them drag your pathetic ass out into public.

When a guy refers to a girl as intimidating, what he really means is???

That he believes her to be either sexually or intellectually more experienced than he is, and he finds her at least somewhat attractive.

When I think about why I want a relationship, I realize that it’s just because I don’t want to be alone, but that realization doesn’t make loneliness go away. How do I learn to be alone?

Loneliness is the negative emotion you feel when you are disconnected from others. Being alone is merely not being in the physical presence of others. Separate the idea of loneliness from the idea of being alone, and act accordingly.

Where does one draw the line between a slutty chick and one who lacks sexual morals/standards?

There is no line to draw, because those two things do not fall on the same spectrum. A woman who openly enjoys sex is not a variation of a woman who is sexually unprincipled.

Why do I always feel so guilty after hookups?

Because you were raised to believe that hooking up is a moral violation. There’s nothing inherently wrong with hooking up, but until you’re strong enough to develop a personal morality that is free of sexual shame, you will continue to feel guilty.